None
of the above happened. I missed the deadline.
Indeed,
similarly to many other women, I had marriage deadlines. And to many of the
people in my networks, I had achievement deadlines.
And
when I missed it, I hit the “28” life crisis, or what I eventually realized
would be my “28” life rebirth.
The trigger: a break up
I
dated a fine man for 3 years. As 28 was looming, I started getting hints that
this may not be it.
Questioning
why I was in it, made it clear that there was more fear than love.
The
plan to be married by 28 made it so painful to let go, but triggered the fall
from grace.
I
questioned my beliefs about love. And finally let go of them.
I
let go of my belief that the man I dream of is too perfect and therefore does
not exist. That settling is the way to go as you grow older. That I have few
years left.
With
pain came a realization, that I should not be seeking love, that love will seek
me.
Love
does not have a deadline, or a form or expectations. It just is.
And
so I today enjoy being single and alone, where my own company is enough.
What came next: My career
They
say everything is interconnected, and they are right. My career choices have
been driven by mostly insecurities and limiting beliefs about what is possible.
As a result I was making choices based on what others thought.
I
worked at a big corporation as my first job, and gave up my acceptance to LSE
to do what I was passionate about at the time: International Political Economy.
I wanted to start making money, to prove that I can to my family.
I
applied to Stanford because I wanted to prove to my smart competitive
consultants, that I am smart.
I
never had literally asked myself what is it that I really wanted to do with my
life.
I
was following the "success path".
When
I chose to join the Customer service team at Airbnb, (Airbnb was small then and
there), it was the first time I made a career choice from the heart.
It
was not easy, especially when I was asked by some of my classmates why would I
get an MBA and work in Customer Service. And that I had no background in it
anyways.
I
knew then (I was 26), that I would not make it big by 28, if I took this route.
But
I chose to restart. And start doing more of what I am passionate about, which
is crafting offline experiences.
Which
I do in some extent at Airbnb and after 6 PM. I created the Pause & Shine experiences, workshops that connect people to their
passions and to one another.
The money
I
failed according to the deadline to make enough money to live the
lifestyle I wanted.
This
“failure” drove me to revisit the lifestyle that I wanted and strip down what
did not matter.
I
did not need a designer bag every season to impress my Lebanese girlfriends.
I
learnt to cook, and I created a beautiful home where I host more often than I
go out to fancy restaurants.
Most
importantly, I am making peace with my relationship with money. I let go of the
belief that I will never be rich, and instead I started focusing on doing more
of what I love and believing that the rest will follow.
A reflection process:
Nonetheless,
the journey of living true to myself is worth all the pains that come with it.
Do
you have a deadline and you feel it is limiting you?
Get started with
facing your deadlines!
Write down what deadlines you have in these three categories
and who set them (Family, friends, society, fears, you)
Money
Career
Love
Take each deadline and write down the beliefs that underline
it. For example a love deadline can stem from a belief that you will not find love
at a certain age.
What would you do without these deadlines? What would you
change about your life?
For example, you would stop focusing on the project that gets you the promotion, and focus more on working on the project that you are interested in.
Now commit to doing one of the changes in the next week, and
observe how you feel.
Photos credit Celeste Noche
Thank you Jess for your inspiration and constructive guidance on living the life we love and loving the life we live.
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