What being Lebanese taught me - 10 things I would not be otherwise

A 1982 Middle East Airlines advertisement (Lebanese official Airline) reads: Beyrouth, elle est mille fois morte, et elle a mille fois revécue. Translation: Beirut, has died a thousand times and resurrected a 1000 other times.

And like our city, my love for Lebanon keeps dying and rising. Over and over. And you can't blame me or any Lebanese for this love / hate relationship, for our plight is to find pleasure in the unstable. 

Having returned from a short trip to Beirut despite the awaited bombs, and the syrian war flair, I watched people still go on with their lives, occasionally joke, always hustle and still hope; I felt an immense gratitude and pride for being Lebanese. 

On my way back I reflected on how much of me is Lebanon. How much of the "good me" is actually Lebanon.

1- The entrepreneur:

Every Lebanese person you meet, will tell you they run their own business. While some may be exaggerating, entrepreneurship is a big part of our culture. And no it is not the tech one necessarily. It is running your own grocery store, owning a taxi car, basically being your own boss. Watching my mom become an entrepreneur as well, has inspired me since my young age to one day want to start my own thing. Rightfully so. entrepreneurship comes with instability and uncertainty - two things that wars can easily teach you. One time someone asked me in a job interview how do I feel about chaos in a start-up, I simply responded "I have lived through war.. what was the question again?"

2- The party animal: 

Living in Beirut, is living as if there is no tomorrow. And so since age 14, I frequented clubs, and up until now, partying like a Lebanese remains the real party. Wether it is dancing till sunrise at a club, buying everyone many rounds of drinks at a bar, or hosting an epic dance celebration at home, we know how to do it. In fact, one of our clubs BO18 was voted in the top 10 clubs in the world. 

3- The hustler: 

You gotta hustle to live. Things don't always come easy to you in Lebanon or during war times in general. For you need a visa to go anywhere, and while in your country, it is almost impossible to get anything done right given the chaos, so you learn to find different ways, keep trying and rarely give up. 

4- The people lover:

Lebanon is known for its hospitality. And so growing up in a country where your GDP relies on serving people, I learnt early on to love them. And so being surrounded by a family and community, my love for people, and what they call soft skills became a second nature. 

5- The trader: 

The Phoenicians, our ancestors were amongst the greatest traders of their time and owed much of their prosperity to trade. When the Lebanese were forced to immigrate during the wars, they became globally known for setting up trading businesses around the world, including Africa, Mexico, Australia. Lebanese are indeed the most successful immigrants, according to Freakonomics. Whenever there is a need for bargaining, my friends turn to me. And I do it for the pleasure of trading a deal.

6- The explorer: 

When the Phoenicians left the coast of the Levant, they explored other cities around the Mediterranean and settled in some. But most importantly, the 30 year civil war drove the Lebanese to settle abroad. Over 10 Million of us live outside of Lebanon versus roughly 4 Million in Lebanon. At an early age, I knew I wanted to go explore. And I went to Dubai, then San Francisco, and started again each time, because that's what we do.

7- The creative: 

Lebanon is the creative hub of the Middle East. Wether it is advertising or fashion design, being at the intersection of the east and the west, housing over 16 sects, and the conflict times, have led to a diversity that translates into creativity. Many of the leading designers in the Arab World are Lebanese. For example, Elie Saab for example is Red Carpet favorite. 

8- The Generous: 
Being generous and inviting friends, family and even strangers is a norm in my country. And so you will only find Lebanese and maybe the Irish, fighting, literally, over whom is going to pay for the bill. I carried this with me to the US, where people generally split the bill, and I occasionally offer to cover for another person, and enjoy the pleasant reaction I receive. 

9- The revolutionary: 

At age 19, I found myself in the middle of revolution as a student leader to ask Syria to leave Lebanon. And so I learnt that it is okay to disagree, and sometimes it is necessary to start from scratch, and ask for a change out loud. My revolutionary spirit comes up in my work and my personal life, and when well done it inspires others to want to make a change.  

10- The fashion lover: 

Moving to the US threw me into a fashion and style shock. People in San Francisco wore free t-shirts and uncoordinated colors. To my advantage, I became known for my fashion sense, and I took a few engineers on a personal shopping spree, but I owe my style to the many Lebanese women, who spend all of their income, or parent's money on Chanel and Hermes: your style and passion have inspired me. 


No country or society is perfect, in fact so much is broken in the US too. But I love it here, and I love being from Lebanon, and I appreciate and I am grateful for what each place has taught me. 

I invite you to take a moment, pause and reflect on what good about your personality, your attitude towards your life, your skills your country or hard times have gifted you. Share them in the comments below, and let us celebrate the beauty in every experience.

Photo credit: pinterest, ebay

How I ended up at a conspiracy theory dinner - 10 things I did to get out of my comfort zone

The other day I confessed to a friend I had never ever been to a restaurant or a bar alone. As embarrassing as it is, at the time it sounded like the most frightening idea. What do I do sitting alone? Do I stare at the cute waiter or my empty plate? Where do I place my hands? I always speak with my hands! Do I read a book? What book is appropriate?


I promised her to try it at least once, and while at it, I decided I might as well try other things that were not part of my zone..

I committed for the next 10 days to do one thing every day that made me uncomfortable.

1- Zero dollar day – Living a day without spending a penny, in nowhere else but San francisco. 

Instead of lyfting to work, I walked. Instead of a dinner out, I cooked with what I had. Even better, when I told my colleagues I cannot go to happy hour because of my zero dollar challenge, they showed me support and bought me drinks!

Lesson #1: When money is a problem you get to be more creative and the world becomes a more generous place.

2- A date with myself – While frightening (I left my phone at home!), half an hour later of sitting at a wine bar alone, I knew the life story of the owner, made new friends and was there for 4 hours! I have been looking forward to my one date a week with myself, adventure.

Lesson #2: Necessity is a blessing in disguise. When on your own, you make friends with people from outside your circles.

3- Shutting up – For those who don’t know me, I have to always have an opinion. So I finally decided to shut the f"#$ up one day, and refrain from controlling conversations, instead accepting what is. 

Lesson #3: I found out how liberating it is to not always need to formulate an opinion, and reminded me of this quote:"We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say"

4- Not planning – While I am a terrible planner, I always have a plan. And that Wednesday, I decided to make no plans and keep my evening open. My friend Azmeera texted me if I wanted to join a conspiracy theory dinner. An hour later, I found myself at an East Berlin joint in the Mission, talking Middle East conflict, oligarchy, revolution, Edward Snowden and all that fun stuff, with amongst others, a Columbia university professor, hippies who were dressed for Burning Man, an ex CIA agent and nobody that worked in tech.

Lesson #4: Leave room for serendipity, and be intentional about it. With how much we are connected these days, it is no longer a given.

5- Online dating – I am never telling my children I met your dad over the interwebs. My promise to myself, soon to be broken. I chose Tinder. After swiping a few guys I ended up running into my ex, colleagues and finally got a date. And while he was not Mr. Right or Right now, I made a friend.

Lesson #5: Before saying no to something, try it once. It may surprise you. Though in this case, I am still not a fan of it.

6- Fasting – I love to eat, all the time. So fasting is a big deal for me. I don’t think I ever fasted. While I ended up in bed with no energy all day, I got the opportunity to reflect on how much stuff I ate when I stressed. And actually, realized that I stressed more often than I thought.

Lesson #6: Going to the extreme opposite of your behavior can teach you things about yourself you did not know of.

7- Asking a guy out – A Lebanese woman never asks a guy out, never pays for dinner, and never says yes to sex on a first date. Or so I was brought up to believe.  So I broke the first rule, and while I got rejected, it was a blessing, as soon I found out he was gay. I could have waited all my life for it.

Lesson #7: Challenge your beliefs and what you were told was right. They may not apply to the person you have become. 

8- Disconnecting in the city -  No apple products for a day. Hid them in my closet, and soon after forgot about them. I went on exploring the deeper Mission, made friends with a homeless lady and meditated for an hour.

Lesson #8: Disconnecting is the new out of the zone no brainer. And it is easier than you think.

9- Running a marathon – In San Francisco, people run, bike and run again. Last time I biked I was 12, and the most I ran was 4 miles. So I signed myself up for the Big Sur marathon. I will keep you posted, I must start training. 

Lesson #9:Commit to not only yourself but also to the world, and pay for it, it helps you make it happen.

10- Traveling solo –If you haven’t traveled alone you haven’t lived said my Israeli friend Shely. While this was on my list, I was skeptical it is going to happen. But the universe was in on it. And so for passion reasons, my friend cancelled last minute and as I write this I am in the South of Portugal, in a fishing village, on my own.

Lesson #10: If it is too challenging, put it out there, and let life handle it. 

You can choose to live and do what you have known is comfortable or you can choose to get out there every now and then, and do something for the first time. 

The reward of a little bit of unease is life. For what is life if not lived.

And so what is one thing you will do this weekend to get you out of the comfort zone? Share with me, and lets do it!

Photos taken during my trip in south of portugal

What about your start-up?

"Good leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion." Jack Welsh

New year's eve 2013 went by rather quietly, and i found myself the next day staring at a bunch of resolutions and a 2013 Jessica plan realizing how useless this all were. 

It felt the same as working long hours on creating a business plan for a start-up whilst having no vision or idea why you are doing the start-up. 

Or spending sleepless nights on a consulting deck that is eventually going to end up in the client's trash. 

And exactly like the deck, I threw my plans in trash, decided to lock myself down for a weekend and brainstorm the vision and mission for my start-up: me.

The 5-step process

"the discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen"

But first, the ingredients

Pens, colorful ones, highlighters, lots of them. A board, sticky notes, or anything you can write on. Somewhere quiet and alone. Your favorite beverage, a day with no plans and patience.

1- Brainstorm - who am I

Spend half an hour to 45 minutes, throwing down all words that define you, mean something to you, inspire you, or simply come to your mind when you think of you. Remember no judgement: one of my words was neon colors. 

Next, cluster these words into themes; mine were 5:

Innovation, inspiration, revolution, feminine power, hard work

Now that you have all of these themes out of your head, take a break, and change scenery.

2- the 3 questions - your purpose

Come back re-read your words, then ask yourself these three questions:

- What do I wish to be remembered for after I die?

- If money was not a problem, what would I find myself doing?

- What matters most to me and why?

3- Map your life - your happiness

Create a graph of how happy you are and what were the major events. 

I surprisingly found out that during the perceived happiest events, for example starting stanford business school, I was in fact miserable. 

The purpose of this step is to help you understand what brings you happiness.

4- Your learnings

27 years on this earth, i actually had never took a moment to write down what I have learned during this journey. Check out my previous blog entry on my learnings. It is an empowering feeling to have them all clarified.

5- The outcome

So what was the synthesis of all of your mind porn?

Just like a company, I came up with

A mission

A vision

Guiding Principles

I am excited to share mine with you.

Mission: Inspire and support a world of seekers

Vision: a world full of people choosing meaningful lives

Guiding Principles: forgiveness, creativity, change, self-love, passion, vulnerability, gratitude, giving, courage

What next

I pinned my mission and vision in my bedroom, to remind me every day why i wake up and want to be part of this world.

While I have not figured out my detailed life plan, I as the CEO of myself have a clear direction. I now have a why, and it helps me make decisions faster, more confidently and from a place of trust.

What's your why?

photo credit www.celestenoche.com

20 things i learnt, 27 years later

Beginning of 2013, i listed everything I learnt during my time on this earth thus far. I am happy to share them with you, and get your thoughts.

1- Many beliefs we carry with us are limiting and wrong

2- It is okay to make mistakes and fail. The goal of life is not winning, but it is being and loving

3- While we all have fears, it is important to be aware of them and pinpoint when they drive our decisions (read more on this topic)

4- The way i perceive myself is not the way people perceive me, in fact at times it is the complete opposite

5- Self-love is at the basis of happiness, if you do not love and forgive yourself, you will not be able to do so with others, and you will not survive the storm

6- Being happy, is not easy, in fact it takes work, and is a long journey. So learn to appreciate every part of it

7- There is no such thing as impossible, everything is literally possible

8- There is no such thing as bad people, all people are good. Some people are just insecure and afraid

9- Things change... all the time

10- Persistence + consistency pay off. Building habits is essential to living the life we want

11- We are responsible for our happiness, no one or nothing can make us happy

12- Meditate more, for your answers come from within

13- Vulnerability is power

14- You can do it on your own. Oftentimes, you will find yourself alone, and that is a wonderful thing

15- The times when you simply let go, and give up control are when things turn out for the best, hence my mantra: trust and believe

16- Patience is an under-stated virtue worth cultivating

17- Make sure you do what you are passionate about, even if you can't do it full time, even if it is an hour a week

18- You cannot change anyone, people need to want to change for themselves

19- I learnt there is not "one" person for me, there are many

20- I learnt to embrace sadness and depression, the same way you embrace joy and happiness, for they are the times when you feel most connected to your soul

Photo credit Celeste Noche 

It starts with Love

What if I told you all your decisions are driven by emotions? 

You would probably laugh at me. But before you do, think about the last decision you made. 
Mine was ordering a banana pie at Mission Beach cafe, last night. 

There goes the process.

My instinct wanted to devour the pie, my mind followed suit and created a whole logic for why it is okay for me to have fatty food at night: " you worked out today, you had a light lunch, you deserve it".

My decision was nowhere near rational. But what is reason anyway?

Senses + reason = understanding.

With our senses, we gather information, and thanks to our rational ability,we connect the pieces to form an understanding of how the world functions. We also refer to our past experiences to further our understanding of our world.

But reason only sets the destination.

It is emotion that drives us to action. The feeling, that sometimes you do not even recognize. 

While that could explain why the world works in a crazy way (think wars, economic crisis, romantic love), the good news is that we can make the world crazier in a good way, by basing our decisions on love rather than fear.

There two major source of emotions are Love & Fear.

For fear, is when you make a decision, such as not helping a colleague who you are competitive with, or staying in a relationship that is not working, or you emotionally eat a jar of Nutella.

Fears come from our deeply rooted insecurities and most times we are unaware that they are the ones calling the shots. 

For love, is when you make a decision from a place of generosity and authenticity. When i decide to give feedback to one of my employees, I check in with myself to ensure that why i am doing is precisely to make them better at what they do. That it is not anger based.

An easy tool to make more love-based decisions.

We make a lot of decisions in our day. Set yourself a challenge. for 7 days, you will ask yourself before making any decision this simple question: 

"is my decision coming out of a place of love or fear?"

You do not need to do anything about it, but by just creating that awareness, you will start digging deeper into what is driving and most importantly the why what is driving you.

After all, every emotion has its reason, so yes we are coming full circle.