The 5 Meditation Myths

When I first started meditating, I felt like a total loser. I could not sit for longer than 3 minutes, I could not get my mind off how I am going to find a place to live in San Francisco, and the interwebs had confusing answers about meditation.

Getting my thoughts not to wander was almost impossible, and having nothing to do while "sitting" caused me anxiety.

Until I finally let go of my ego, and asked a friend for help.

Fast forward six months later, I meditate every morning (also known as "sitting") and support some friends with their meditation practice.

If you are curious about meditation, intimated by it, or feel like you are failing constantly at it, these 5 myths are for you.

1- Meditation is thinking of nothing 
"So does it mean that you are not allowed to think of anything?" a question I often hear. The answer is no. Meditation is built on compassion towards your self first and foremost. Which means that you cannot beat up yourself when thoughts come to you. Instead you could show them compassion and let them pass. By focusing on the breath they will slowly drift away. And even as your practice progresses thoughts will almost always be there. So do not be discouraged by them.

"It is simply sitting silently, witnessing the thoughts, passing before you. 

 The moment you say “this is good, this 

is bad,” you have already jumped onto the thought process. "

Osho

2- There are meditation rules
The beautiful thing about meditation is that you get to shape your own practice and figure out what works for you. It is one of the most personal acts you can do in your life.
You could start with a guided meditation, or a zen meditation (counting your breaths), visualization, mantra repetition, until you design your own practice. There are no rules in meditation.

3- Meditation's KPI is how long you do it for
Meditation is not a running race. It is a journey with no specific destination. Whether you sit for one minute, or a whole day, it is the act of pausing that matters.
Having said that, what you can identify as success is looking back and assessing changes in yourself and the way you relate to others. One way to do that is through journaling.

4- Meditation is buddhist
Meditation is about you, your body, your emotions, your thoughts, your consciousness. While certain meditation techniques are tied to Buddhism, meditation has existed across civilizations. Think Sufism for example. Having said that, you can make your practice a prayer to any religion if you wish so.
5- When I become a pro, I will start flying
You may feel like flying, but sadly no flying or walking on water guaranteed :)
As you deepen your practice, you can get various spiritual experiences. Some hear melodious sounds in the ears. Some see lights. Some experience that they fly in the air. There cannot be a common experience for all.

Use the comments below to ask questions about meditation, and share tips from your practice.

Read more on the benefit of meditation and how to get started!

Photos credit Celeste Noche

20 things i learnt, 27 years later

Beginning of 2013, i listed everything I learnt during my time on this earth thus far. I am happy to share them with you, and get your thoughts.

1- Many beliefs we carry with us are limiting and wrong

2- It is okay to make mistakes and fail. The goal of life is not winning, but it is being and loving

3- While we all have fears, it is important to be aware of them and pinpoint when they drive our decisions (read more on this topic)

4- The way i perceive myself is not the way people perceive me, in fact at times it is the complete opposite

5- Self-love is at the basis of happiness, if you do not love and forgive yourself, you will not be able to do so with others, and you will not survive the storm

6- Being happy, is not easy, in fact it takes work, and is a long journey. So learn to appreciate every part of it

7- There is no such thing as impossible, everything is literally possible

8- There is no such thing as bad people, all people are good. Some people are just insecure and afraid

9- Things change... all the time

10- Persistence + consistency pay off. Building habits is essential to living the life we want

11- We are responsible for our happiness, no one or nothing can make us happy

12- Meditate more, for your answers come from within

13- Vulnerability is power

14- You can do it on your own. Oftentimes, you will find yourself alone, and that is a wonderful thing

15- The times when you simply let go, and give up control are when things turn out for the best, hence my mantra: trust and believe

16- Patience is an under-stated virtue worth cultivating

17- Make sure you do what you are passionate about, even if you can't do it full time, even if it is an hour a week

18- You cannot change anyone, people need to want to change for themselves

19- I learnt there is not "one" person for me, there are many

20- I learnt to embrace sadness and depression, the same way you embrace joy and happiness, for they are the times when you feel most connected to your soul

Photo credit Celeste Noche 

The year I fell in love

The End

Sometime in August I found myself sinking into another cycle of self hate and tears.

This time it was different. This time I knew I had enough and wanted to change and choose a happy life.

Up until this year, I thought life was about suffering, that a moment of happiness is followed by a moment of misery. I had also decided I was not capable of being happy.

After a complicated relationship and a tough breakup, I found myself on my own with my fears. Friends and family helped me but it was not what was going to get me out of this misery. I was left with myself. For the first time I faced my fears.

And what I found was a shivering adorable little curly hair girl, crying in the corner. That little girl was me. All she wanted was a big hug and for me to forgive her for all what she's done wrong.

And I did, I am, and I will forgive her everyday, give her a big hug everyday and take care of her as my little child.

Why?

If I did not love her I can't truly love others, I can't forgive others, I can't achieve the Immense dreams I have, I can't maintain healthy relationships, and most important I can't be happy.

How?

Three ways to self-love I learnt:
1- Forgiveness: every day I write down something or someone including yours truly,  I forgive.
2- Compassion: realizing that its never about me, I started questioning whenever I judge someone reminding myself we all have a story, a reason. I use my meditation practice to cultivate compassion. (More on this in my next blogpost).
3- Gratitude: every day I write down three things I am grateful for. I even started doing gratitude circles with my friends, a practice I learnt at one of the retreats I went to.

My self-love journey has just started, and I am looking forward to the many ways to enrich it, develop it and maintain it. This includes, wellness retreats, reading, travel, reflection, creation and most importantly surrounding myself with inspiring people.

Now it's your turn. Are you in love with yourself? Here is a simple challenge: 

Every day for 30 seconds, take a look at the kid inside of you: make sure she is warm, smiling and most importantly loved.